The Art of Being and Bonding...

There's something very special about the bond between a father and his daughter don't you think? For the last couple of years my girls have been spending time at Aussie Rules footy with their Dad. It's not that they are avid footy fans, in fact alot of the time they don't seem to know what's going on at all. But they do really enjoy this time for no other reason that it is special time just spent with their Dad, sharing his passion, sharing a whole day together, cheering together, talking together, walking to the game together, bonding...

Dan (who is a very special friend, and now works with us in our Honeybee stores, and helping out - and he is a HUGE help - in our warehouse), just sent me this lovely photo which captured something of his weekend - setting up this imaginative play scene with his 7 year-old daughter. There's no better way to spend a weekend as far as I'm concerned, than just "being" and "playing" with your children. The precious years of childhood pass so quickly. When I look at this photo I imagine the small nuances, the subtle moments, the real "creating" that may have unfolded - the creating of a relationship, of communication, of intimacy, of love, of discussion, of joy, of negotiation, of patience, of bonding, of being...

Today, I spent five and a half hours in the car with my youngest daughter, driving her to a specialist optometrist. We had to drive down one of the most BORING stretches of roads in Victoria, but I have to say it was a lovely trip. We didn't put the radio on, we didn't play any games (not consciously), we were just enjoying spending time together, we didn't do much at all except BE - basking in each other's company!!!

Gabrielle Talks 2009

For those in Melbourne interested in Rudolf Steiner's philosophy from a parenting perspective, the Gabrielle talks are on again this year.

"Every birth is a gift to us of an innocent, beautiful soul.
How can one embrace the young child of today? What effect does the rushing in our lives, the noise in our environment, the pressure of achievement and the impact of the media have upon our children?
All children need peace in which to grow and love to help them flourish. Imagination is food for their little souls; and a safe environment, free from the pressures of modern life will help to sustain them for their whole lives.
Their physical bodies and sense perceptions need a nourishment that does not over stimulate their nerves, and they need good rest, time in which to experience the world and wonder at it.
The Gabriel Talks will address these issues and develop them further, providing a basis upon which to develop an understanding of the growing child in the 21st century."

For a calendar of events and more information you can contact the Gabrielle Centre here.

For new mother's who are interested in understanding their baby and child from the perspective of the threefold human being: body, soul and spirit, I also highly recommend this book: The Incarnating Child. Written by the late Joan Salter, the founder of the Gabrielle Centre and well known for her work in maternal and child health care, this is a rich and nourishing book for anyone intersted in seeking the deeper meaning behind birth and child development, while being highly practical. I discovered this book 11 years ago when I was pregnant with my daughter and have drawn on it ever since in my work with children.

Parents sharing stories

I found this wonderful site today full of the personal stories of parenthood...as a writer I found it quite inspiring; as a parent I could relate wholeheartedly to many experiences shared... http://www.parentingexpress.com/
Parenting Express gives a voice to parents and others who care for children. If you write creative nonfiction, poetry or fiction about your experiences of giving birth and the challenges and rewards of raising the next generation, we want to hear from you.

The transition from child to adolesence

My little baby is growing up right before my eyes - as the mother of a ten-year old girl I have been so aware this last year of her transition from child to being on the thresh-hold of becoming a young woman - it comes with great joy as I watch her blossom and unfold the beautiful person she is becoming and also with a tinge of sadness in saying goodbye to the innocent days of childhood.

Austrian philosopher, Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education, states, "In the ninth year the child really experiences a complete transformation of its being, which indicates an important transformation of its soul-life and its bodily-physical experiences."

Around the age of nine, children seem to leave the magical, imaginative world that they have lived in and "wake up". This happens as their identity and individuality starts to develop – Steiner observed this the “I forces” coming towards the soul.

If you observe you nine year old you may notice some fundamental changes – they may become more self-conscious, begin to form one on one friendships as opposed to playing in a larger group, become aware about being different to others, and may become more critical of their parents (especially the mother!) – there can be a lot of questioning and even a sense of lonliness.

Another inner process that can happen at this age is that they have an experience of their own mortality – now it may not be expressed in this clearly defined way – but you may find your child around 9 has an experience of death or illness that makes them aware of this part of life for the first time in a conscious way. For instance, they may have a dangerous fall when bushwalking and say to you: Mummy, I could have died.

I also noticed an interesting change in play – although my daughter still does continue with some imaginary play – she is beginning to collect things:

these little Japanese Momiji dolls

suncatchers, and “useful but weird objects – a box full of bottle tops, feathers, paper clips and all manner of bits and pieces.” Here I sense a search within her to “define” herself – to explore her own personality, likes and dislikes and what makes her different from someone else.

It's a good time to begin after school activities - learning an instrument, art-classes, girl guides, sports etc. Often society pushes us from a very young age to do this, but the younger child needs time and space to explore the world and develop their own imagination, while the older child needs to explore their emerging individuality and their new found talents.

It is a beautiful time to watch your child emerge from the cocoon of childhood and spread their wings and explore who they are becoming. And it is a journey of trust, as a parent, to allow them to become who they truly are and not impose upon them who we are or think they should be…

Some additional information can be found here.